Crying it Out?

Tomorrow it will be exactly one week since we started the "crying it out" technique. I have to say, I was really apprehensive about doing it, like REALLY apprehensive. But, it had to be done. Before trying this, I would cringe when I thought about night time and bed time. Hudson was so sweet during the day, and our days were fun, but when night fall came, I wanted it to be day time again. It took me hours to get him to sleep and back to sleep. over and over. never getting a break. And sometimes (more like most of the time) I'd give up and just bring him into our bedroom because it was much easier, and he'd actually sleep there! But, he'd usually end up kicking Jordan out of the bed and onto the couch. Literally, Jordan would wake up with Hudson, asleep, while pushing Jordan's back or kicking it. OR he'd wake us because he would turn his head to the right and then to the left. over and over. still asleep, mind you, but acting like he needed more space and was trying to get comfortable. This kid is hilarious! So, you can see why we needed this, or at least had to try it out.
This process is not fun! not one bit. But has been my saving grace. The first night, after doing our bedtime routine: bath, jammies, nursing and songs, he cried for an hour and a half. Thought I was going to die. It took everything I had to not go pick him up. After that night his crying decreased more each night. fifty minutes, then thirty, twenty, twelve, ten and five. During each cry session I'd always bring up to Jordan how "Hudson probably thinks we've abandoned him and that we're never coming back! and what if the stress of him crying interferes with his brain development?" I came up with every little excuse possible. anything to get me in his room and comforting him. Jordan would quickly correct me. lovingly. About this process. He helped me realize how "crying it out" wasn't just for our sanity, but Hudson's, too. Waking up six or seven times a night for a baby isn't good either. True. Jordan also helped me feel better about this process by relating it to the gospel. [[Loved this thought he shared.]] He brought up Heavenly Father, and how He sometimes gives us hard things because they will teach us and help us grow. And during these hard times He watches us and knows our feelings about them. But, he doesn't take them away. at least not until they have changed us in the way He wanted them to. And that's us right now. Doing a hard thing; hearing him cry, but knowing how great and helpful this will be soon. for Hudson and us. and it has! He is sleeping until almost 4 am every night and is a much happier baby during the day. His naps are even better and more regular.
So for those who aren't too sure about "crying it out," maybe try it? I was scared. oh so scared. But, it saved us. and now I have my nights and time with my husband. and Heavenly Father will help you. I know it!
Oh! and did I mention how soundly they sleep? I love checking in on Hud and seeing him fast asleep and glowing in the dark (his jammies glow in the dark. cutest. thing. ever.).

October Bliss

I'm a little late but... in October we went to a [[real]] family owned pumpkin patch! It was our first as a family! Ahh, so cute. huge pumpkins. baby pumpkins. pumpkins everywhere. and it was chilly. My favorite! What's even better, it wasn't just Hudson's first pumpkin patch experience, it was Jordan's as well. We had great fun, spent more than we wanted too, but that's all a part of the experience :)

One reason for going to the patch to get pumpkins was to find a good pumpkin for a contest we decided to enter Hudson and Kealaka'i in. Poor Hudson did not have fun. We won. I'm sure you can see why :) Adorable little pumpkins!

We also celebrated Halloween! [[My favorite holiday.]] Jordan was such a sport. I'm so lucky. We went as a family of scarecrows! adorable. Hud was the cutest scarecrow I've ever seen! Hope you all had a great October, too!

So Many Faces

I can't believe how many faces Hudson makes. He is always surprising me. They crack us up, (even the sad faces. he's still so cute!), so I had to share. What a character!

Sheesh, what a ham!!!

Hymns & Hudson

    It's hard to write this post because I feel so overly exhausted and couldn't be more frustrated and sad with how Hudson has been sleeping lately, or lack there of. Each night this week he hasn't slept well at all. I'm up literally every hour and sometimes it takes me two hours to get him back to sleep. Talk about frustration overload and lots of tears. So, this has been my week. And to make things harder, before this week, he was sleeping so well--Still waking up 3 -4 times a night, but falling right back to sleep and sleeping for at least 2 hours. 

So there's the background to this post... 

    Last night, while attempting to put Hudson back to sleep for the third time, my emotions were high and all I wanted to do was cry. As I was rocking him in our chair I began to sing to him. [[Special fact about Hudson: Jordan has a song he sings to him to get him to sleep-You Could Be Happy by: Snow Patrol and I sing the childrens hymns- I Love to See the Temple, I Am A Child of God and A Child's Prayer. (By the time these songs are over he is usually fast asleep.) It's a little sweet and special thing we each have with him.]] So I am singing these songs (my songs) and praying at the same time for help and comfort. (My frustrations came from feeling like I'm not being the best mom, my child should be sleeping, I must be doing something wrong.) As I'm singing and silently praying, a new hymn comes to mind to sing next, I Will Follow God's Plan.

My life is a gift; my life has a plan. 

My life has a purpose; in heaven it began. 

My choice was to come to this lovely home on earth 

And seek for God's light to direct me from birth. 

I will follow God's plan for me, 

holding fast to His word and His love.

I will work, and I will pray;

I will always walk in His way.

Then I will be happy on earth

and in my home above. 

    [[Background: This hymn was an answer to my prayer because it's what I would sing to myself during my pregnancy, when times felt hard. It helped me get through feeling huge, and uncomfortable; or when I couldn't sleep because my body ached or just simply, when my attitude about being pregnant was low.]] This hymn raised my spirits and reminded me that Heavenly Father is here for me and I am participating in His plan. I am follow His plan, by bringing one of His sweet spirits into this world. It taught me that being a mother is my great role in His wondrous Plan and that He will bless and help me as I follow His commandments, especially His commandment of being a mother. 

    As you can imagine, my frustration dissolved and I was left with the comfort that I can do this. And as I looked down at my sweet boy, Hudson, I knew this was my calling and that His spirit needed me, at all times; even when I'm frustrated and feel helpless and lost as a mother. It was simple: I will work, and I will pray and I will walk in His way, and then I will be happy on earth. Simple, but not easy.

    To all mothers who feel the sleepless nights will never end or they'll never get their child to sleep in his crib or through the night, the opposite will happen. It hasn't for me, yet and being a mom is hard, but it will. It will because that's the work. And we have pray and the Spirit is with us, to direct our path. This hymn explains it (our life's journey) all. I hope I can remember always that my life is a gift; its from Heavenly Father. And He has given me and Jordan another life gift, and that's Hudson. It's all a part of His plan, and within His plan is help and comfort from HIM. 

Hudson's Arrival

I was inspired to share Hudson's arrival after I read a friends very sweet and beautiful arrival story of their little one.

Hudson came two days after his due date: July 29th, 2013. Jordan and I were living in Oklahoma at the time so I chose to be induced so that my family could definitely be there. I checked into Mercy hospital on Sunday night and was all checked in and in their bed by 9 PM. 

To dilate my cervix they gave me medicine that was a slow release gel. The plan was to have this gel in for 12 hours and then they would start me on pitocin to stimulate contractions and we'd wait for Hudson to arrive. The night nurse I had was sweet. As she was telling us what the plan was, she mentioned that this gel had only put one woman she'd helped into complete labor so we needed to just relax because i'd be a while until we met out little guy. My mom and sister were in the room with us until about midnight. By then I was tired and we were ready to sleep through the night and really start the labor process in the morning. Jordan and I were so excited. Soon our little guy was going to be in our arms. 

At about 3 AM I woke with some pain. Contractions had started earlier, you could see them on the monitor, but I couldn't feel them.  But, at 3 AM I definitely felt them. I tried really hard to sleep through them. IMPOSSIBLE. Thankfully I had Jordan there to hold me. I always thought I'd be the pregnant woman who doesn't want her husband touching her and helping her through contractions, but I wasn't. They'd come, I'd close my eyes through them, and just focus on holding Jordan's hand. Soon the contractions started really progressing. They became much more painful in a short amount of time. Jordan was able to get the nurse who then checked me to see how dilated I was. OUCH! That is not a fun experience. It brought me to tears. Being checked while having contractions really was awful and after the nurse left I just balled. But, there was Jordan, holding me while I cried into his shoulder. Looking back this was one of my very favorite moments we've ever shared. I'm not sure if I can explain this fully, but being in that moment--in so much pain, but having him there supporting me--was so tender and sweet. I loved that moment we shared together. And I often think about that moment. Thankfully it wasn't in vain and I was dilated to a 3. Which meant epidural time. Waiting for the anesthesiologist felt like a life time. When she finally arrived the nurse had me sit on the edge of the bed and thats when my water went eeeverywhere. I found out soon after that the reason being checked hurt so badly was because she broke my water during the process. I thought this would be the scariest part for me because their is a person trying to stick a needle in your spine and sometimes that process damages your back, but I wasn't scared at all. Honestly, I felt like I wasn't even there. The contractions were a big enough distraction that all I remember is the nurse holding me still, as I tried doing also, and then the pain was gone and I was thanking them. 

Every woman is different, and both options are great, but I loved my epidural. Loved it! Once I got it, is was finally able to relax and focus on what was coming up. Before the epidural I don't remember a lot of things but after I got it I remember so much. And I loved that. I was able to be with Jordan and dream about what Hudson was going to look like. The epidural really helped me enjoy the rest of my labor. 

Once the epidural was in and I was numb the nurse checked me again and I was at a 7. It was  now around 6 AM and my mom and sister had arrived and were in the room with us and we were all visiting. I couldn't believe how fast this labor was progressing. And neither could the nurse, since she told us this medicine wouldn't actually put me into labor. Around 8:30 AM the nurse asked me how I was feeling and all I felt was the need to push. There was this pressure I could feel and my instinct was to push. So she checked me and found that I was at a 10! She had the other nurse call Dr. Schlinke. He was about 25 minutes away and he needed to hurry! While we waited for Dr. Schlinke she had me push twice--just to get Hudson closer to actual delivery and to speed up the process when Dr. Schlinke got there. On the second push she could feel his head and told us that he had hair. It was incredible. Dr. Schlinke finally arrived at 9 AM, ready to go. And so were we! Jordan was up by the right side of my head and shoulders. My legs were in the stirrups and it was pushing time. This part I was nervous about and had been for a while because I never went to a labor class because we were moving at the time so I worried I wouldn't be strong enough to get Hudson out. Dr. Schlinke had me push during 3 separate contractions with 3 pushes within those 3 contractions. By the third contraction I was tired and scared I wouldn't be able to get him out. I just kept praying that I'd be able to do this and for help and strength. And I did do it. And at 9:22 AM he was on my chest with his arms in the air. I was speechless, Jordan was speechless, we were in awe. He was so beautiful. And weighed 8 lbs 8 oz. It all feels like a dream. And in a way it was; a dream come true. Hudson is the best thing that has ever happened to us. My labor and delivery experience was amazing and I loved it. I'd do it over and over again. I finally see and understand the sacredness of motherhood. And the happiness a family brings to each others lives. 

Our little Hudson Jay Evans

something old, something new

I'm pressing the "restart" button when it comes to blogging. I had one, didn't use it...mostly because I didn't know how....but i'm ready to make this old blog new and actually dedicate myself to it. So here's to a new blog adventure!